How to Be More Confident in Certain Situations
How is it that two people, on the same fairground ride, may have such a totally different experience of the ride? One may feel terrified and hate every second of it, while the other gets a "rush" and a sense of exhilaration. What's happening here? It comes down to a very particular set of beliefs they each carry around with them and use to determine whether or not their values are being met. These special beliefs - which you have, as well - are your rules about your values.
What's actually happening physically on the fairground ride is virtually the same for each person. But what each person makes that experience mean can be very different. Each of them is unconsciously applying a specific set of beliefs about their physical experience in the form of rules. The rule for one person may be something like 'I am putting myself in danger irresponsibly and pointlessly' and the rule for the other is 'I love the thrill of speed, it makes me feel so alive'. All beliefs help you to make decisions quickly based on previous experience, but when they take the form of unconscious rules they may be working against you and causing you feelings that you don't want.
You don't have to worry about where your rules came from - whether you have an easy guess about the source or not. Because your rules are merely beliefs, that is, merely a sense of certainty, you can change them easily by applying a little common sense. If you are in a similar situation, ask yourself: 'how likely is it that this fairground ride will crash in a serious accident, involving me as a victim, at this precise moment?' The real odds don't matter; the grounds for worry are so tiny. Is it a reasonable belief then, that you will be seriously injured on this ride? No, it isn't. Since there can be no certainty about being hurt, this belief doesn't stand up. Now, apply a similar logic to find any benefit that could ensue from your taking the ride and keep looking until you find some.
What's actually happening physically on the fairground ride is virtually the same for each person. But what each person makes that experience mean can be very different. Each of them is unconsciously applying a specific set of beliefs about their physical experience in the form of rules. The rule for one person may be something like 'I am putting myself in danger irresponsibly and pointlessly' and the rule for the other is 'I love the thrill of speed, it makes me feel so alive'. All beliefs help you to make decisions quickly based on previous experience, but when they take the form of unconscious rules they may be working against you and causing you feelings that you don't want.
You don't have to worry about where your rules came from - whether you have an easy guess about the source or not. Because your rules are merely beliefs, that is, merely a sense of certainty, you can change them easily by applying a little common sense. If you are in a similar situation, ask yourself: 'how likely is it that this fairground ride will crash in a serious accident, involving me as a victim, at this precise moment?' The real odds don't matter; the grounds for worry are so tiny. Is it a reasonable belief then, that you will be seriously injured on this ride? No, it isn't. Since there can be no certainty about being hurt, this belief doesn't stand up. Now, apply a similar logic to find any benefit that could ensue from your taking the ride and keep looking until you find some.
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